Sunday, September 28, 2008

fleeting

just as one bud
turned autumn leaf aflutter
& so your presence

chill air threatens
to invade every crevice
& so your presence

warmed sun behind
wind-driven cloud of dry
& so your presence

round seasons ply
in tangible hope espied
your fleeting presence

one single impression

17 comments:

Deborah Godin said...

I don't know if I'm interpreting this the way you would, but there is a tentativeness in these stanzas, a lightness that is very appealing.

teric said...

I like the use of the repetitive last line as though no matter what your presence is always on your mind.

anthonynorth said...

There was certainly a sense of fleetingness here. Beautifully done.

Beloved Dreamer said...

Well, you caught the prompt with this Haiku. Its beautiful in a strange way.

love-bd

Jim said...

Hi Ms. Di Bello, before we get very far here, it that your motorscoter on the header? I have had one, but not now.

Guess I will interpret (I always do it wrongly) is that your, first person's, presence is as fleeting as a bud, the chill air or warmed sun, or even the seasons in which there is hope of a longer period.
That way, I love it! None of us is here on earth for eons (or centuries, most much shorter--fleeting)
..
BTW, our Beagle Adi (Jane) has her own profile and occasionally will write on my blog. She wants her own like Phil has.
Perhaps this December she will get it, I usually start a new one each year about then. And Adi usually gets what she wants.
..

zoya gautam said...

.._"a tentativeness in these stanzas, a lightnes"_"beautiful in a strange way"_
~as i read it, appears to be the (almost insecure) vulnerability of the feminine psyche.wanting to share and say so much..real nice..many thanks..

SandyCarlson said...

I wonder what the speaker would like to say. The imagery opens up so many possibilities. And yet there is so little time to say anything....Well done. Thanks.

fourwindshaiga said...

Nice, what you did with the last lines works well.

tumblewords said...

I like the flow and repetition in this series - almost a mantra. Very nice!

zoya gautam said...

..on a re read i can sense the spiritual undertones-'that' continuance-in the momentary [lightnes=lightness/cmnt above]..many thanks..

Beth P. said...

Hello there--

I would so dearly love to have a glass of wine and discuss this poem with you!

I get the top level of meaning, but there's a lot more there--

This is lovely--thank you for making it a living thing!
Beth

susan said...

Enjoy your take on the prompt. The tentativeness struck me foremost as well. Thanks for coming by. I appreciate your comments.

Lenore said...

very beautiful!

Pam said...

The repetition works wonderfully in this poem. There does seem to be a deep spiritual presence that lies beneath the words and rhythm.

Quiet Paths said...

I do like that repeating last line; it is very effective. I am seeing so many pictures in my mind. Thank you.

if said...

life is full of those moments...good to remember!

Edward S Gault said...

A beautiful poem! Thank you for sharing it.