shared

a long day at the end of an almost long week
running in every direction, little to show for it
a persistent whisper -- for several days
a mental sparring match...it's too hard, i can't do it
i will cry
i will feel vulnerable all over again
i will lose her in another moment of a series of moments that remember the loss
...weep with those who weep...
a humble present of time, stepping forward in surprising affirmation
i call.
she sounds hollow & congested
i wonder at the paradox of that
just let her talk
lean into her grief, born of a sudden loss.
her heart bursting to tell the whys & hows of the passing month
her depth begging to tell things to someone who will nod in memorial unified.
yes, they are gone -- in many ways
no, we remain -- with the important parts & comforts of what they were for us
...for they shall be comforted...
the twining of their memories is a healing for both of us
quite & speak, this & that
they were... we did... wouldn't they have... remember when...
tears mixed are the chemistry of grief
sigh.
disconnect, but better
or so it seemed, as the sun set quietly on the ordinary day.